50th anniversary + Modern Doctor Who parallels and references.
Probably my favorite part of the whole episode…I giggled so hard.
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.
REBAGGELING BECAUSE TAYLOR LOVES HIS PUNS AND THIS POST INFURIATES ME
I SWEAR THESE PUNS ON HERE ARE GONNA BE THE CAUSE OF MY DEATH
As someone with 23 piercings, this speaks to me on a deep level.Sorry I can’tnot reblog this.
this so hard
because of my own experience I had to reblog
Asking hipsters about bands that don’t exist. Brilliant.
best thing on the fucking internet.
There’s a lesson here…and a lot of dumb and names that somebody should snag.
i love this so much omg
this is perfect. guys, take notes
i swear this is the most pornographic post in tumblr
Photographer Francois Brunelle has been working on an amazing project; searching for people who look strikingly similar but have no relation to each other. These are some of this incredible finds.
JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL TWINS
what if any of these people got married omfg